My Music video first draft

This is my first music video draft that I have made. The story line for my music video is a older male teenager realises the friendship he has lost when he looks through an old memory book. This makes him think about special memories he and his best friend had when they were younger. He is desperate to win his friendship back but he doesn't know how to approach the situation. The link for my first draft of my music video is linked below.

Peer Assessment of my draft:

"I think that the music video made by Tia Cato is very effective at creating a sad theme. This allows the audience/viewer to feel sorry for the characters involved in the story and what happened to them. Overall the theme is very consistent and has a good overall flow/pace.- Alex

"In order to improve the music video Tia could flip some of the shots so that the whole music video is landscape. This is so that the immersion is not broken for the audience."- Kiji

"You used very unique shots that made your video stand out compared to others. One improvement I would say is that the song and video just instantly cut and it is a bit anticlimactic."- Sam

"Your video has a powerful story line, yet sometimes it is a bit blurred through the shots. Some shots are portrait which effects the flow of the video at stages. However, I like the age range of the characters and this helps deliver a powerful message." - Regan